How do I begin to write about the most amazing and beautiful experience of my entire life? It started on December 29, 1999 with conception. The dance of life began on a cold winter night, and over the next nine months, I ripened into a goddess of life-giving. I felt healthy and beautiful throughout my pregnancy. I spent a lot of time reading and swimming and taking long walks, reflecting on the child growing inside.

When my due date came on September 23, I was not surprised that I did not go into labor. I told my husband, Tim, and midwife, Damaris, that this was an October Baby. One week later, I began taking blue cohosh and extra evening primrose oil to help tone my uterus and ripen my cervix. My husband and I talked to our Baby daily, and told her that we were ready for her arrival whenever she was ready to emerge. At 41 and 1/2 weeks, my midwife suggested trying castor oil. I didn’t want to, but I was so ready to meet my baby. On Tuesday October 3rd, Damaris massaged my cervix and told me that I could try the castor oil on Wednesday if I was still not in labor.

I went to bed early on Tuesday night. I was so disappointed that I was not in labor, and I dreaded the castor oil. On Wednesday, I woke up at 4:16 a.m. with mild but regular contractions. I got up and scrubbed my kitchen and looked at my favorite website. I went back to bed at 6:30 a.m., but I could not sleep very well, so I woke my husband and we held each other and got excited about the big event. He decided not to go to work even though I was still in really early labor. My contractions were coming about every 10 minutes. We took a long walk, called the midwife, and ate lunch. I got in a short nap, and after that we just hung out and rested. My contractions were still not painful at 5:30 p.m., but they were still very regular. My mom and sisters came over and kept me company while Tim went to the grocery store. My mom made the comment that I was scrubbing the enamel off of my kitchen sink. I noticed that I was putting a lot of energy into cleaning the kitchen. It felt good to be active.

Damaris came over at around 6:30 p.m. and checked my dilation. I was already at 4 centimeters! She decided to stick around for a while to see if I was going to progress quickly. Things started to pick up, but then my contractions slowed down long enough for me to eat some soup and toast. My dad and brother brought sandwiches over, and Damaris ate with my family. At around 8:00, she decided to go home and check on her kids. My family left at that time also, and Tim and I went to bed. He fell asleep immediately, but I could only sleep off and on.

Around 11:30 p.m., I woke up and felt really nauseous and crampy. I called Damaris and told her that my contractions were getting stronger and closer together. She told me to keep her posted and let her know when I wanted her to come over. I paced around the house and tried to breathe deeply. I was getting really excited! About fifteen minutes later, I decided that I did not want to be alone. I was feeling extremely nauseous, so I asked Tim to get up with me. I went into the bathroom, and threw up a couple of times while he held my hair back. I told him to call Damaris. She arrived about twenty minutes later, and set up all of the birth supplies. Tim helped her make up the bed with a plastic sheet while I got into the bathtub. The hot water really helped take the edge off of contractions. Tim sat at the end of the tub, and massaged my neck and shoulders. When I started to moan through contractions, Damaris wanted to check my dilation. I was really curious, too, so I got out of the tub. I was at 8 centimeters! I could not believe how easy it was! I felt really positive and blissed out because I knew that I would meet my baby soon. Contractions were more uncomfortable on dry land, so I got back into the bathtub. Damaris sat in the bathroom with me for about an hour. I told her that labor was much easier that I expected. She gave me some points about pushing, and asked me to get out of the tub because she wanted to check my dilation and Baby’s heartbeat. We found out that I was at 9 and 1/2 centimeters, and Damaris said that I could push whenever I got the urge. Soon afterwards, transition hit...

I don’t remember much about transition. I went really deep inside myself, and let the primal part of my brain take over. Damaris’ assistants, Linda and Deb Sue, came into the room. Linda rubbed my back while Tim and Deb Sue pressed on my feet to stop my legs from shaking. The shaky legs were the worst part of my whole labor. It was so irritating and distracting. Having my feet pressed helped so much. I began to make loud, long, low sounds, but I still did not feel the urge to bear down. Damaris asked if I wanted to get on my hands and knees. I tried a couple of contractions in that position, but still had no urge to bear down. I decided to try the birthing stool. Still, nothing happened. I dozed between contractions! I wanted to try sitting on the toilet, so we went into the bathroom. I pushed a couple of times, but was still snoozing a lot and I didn’t feel like I was making much progress. I reached down and felt the bag of waters bulging out of my vagina. There was so much pressure! Damaris and Linda asked if I wanted them to pop it to relieve the discomfort. I talked it over very briefly with Tim, and decided to do it.

After that, things really picked up! We walked back into the bedroom and I sat on the stool again. Then, I squatted on the floor. I still didn’t feel like pushing, so I stood up and then...WHOA!! A huge contraction rushed over me, and I hung onto Damaris and wailed. I lay down on my side on the bed, and suddenly I felt like pushing! I had always imagined that I would squat or stand to give birth, but lying on my side was the best position! I pushed for about two hours until finally Clover’s head came out. It was so intense to feel my muscles and bones stretching apart as she emerged. I touched her head as her body slithered into Damaris’ hands. Tim said, “It’s a girl! We were right! It’s a girl!!” I tried to sit up too quickly, and felt a gush of blood. Damaris put the herb Shepherd’s Purse under my tongue, and put Clover Sequoia on my chest. She was so beautiful! She opened her eyes and looked at me, and made little noises.

I asked Tim to call my family. I wanted to celebrate with everyone. I pushed the placenta out a few minutes later, and Tim cut the cord. My sisters, brother, mom, dad, and grandparents showed up. I ate vegan pizza in bed and later took a warm bath. I felt really good, but I was a little dizzy from losing blood. I had such a wonderful birth, and I feel really blessed to have been able to give birth at home without interruptions from well-meaning strangers. Motherhood is so powerful!!

On November 11, the first full moon after Clover’s birth, we had the placenta-planting and smudge ceremony for Clover. Her placenta is planted under a fig tree that has been in my family for three generations. While I was growing Clover in my womb, my Grandmother was rooting a piece of the tree and nurturing it into a small bush. You could say that they are growing up together!